Book: Crucial Conversations
By Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler
There are many great concepts and practical tools you can use to improve the company you work for along with your personal relationships that are talked about in the book called Crucial Conversations. I highly recommend this book because it has been so useful to me and I know it will be helpful to you too.
As a nicety, the book is easy to read and very interesting. So you’ll enjoy every moment, at least I did. This is a book that you’ll want to study and reread in order to get more value out of it. I made some notes pertaining to the most important points taught in the book (see below).
However, I still recommend reading the book because one short blog article isn’t going to give you the depth and detail of what the book has to offer. It’s a read that is well worth your time, in fact one of the best books I’ve ever read.
If you read Crucial Conversations the first time to study it and then a second time to help make the information stick, the following guide will be a big help in remembering what you read.
Crucial conversations can go one of three ways:
- Silence – The other person will be in violence mode
- Dialog – This is where you want to get to, it provides a way to fill the pool of knowledge
- Violence – The other person will be in silence mode or if both people are in violence mode, then a ruckus will ensue
Create safety in order to get back to dialog. Start by using CRIB, which puts you in the right frame of mind:
- Commit to seek mutual purpose
- Recognize the purpose behind the strategy
- Invent a mutual purpose
- Brainstorm new strategies
Continue to create safety to get back to dialog by using STATE. This will allow you to talk about sensitive issues:
- What – Share the Facts
- What – Tell your story
- What – Ask for others’ path
- How – Talk Tentatively
- How – Encourage testing
Encourage others to share their paths by using AMPP:
- Ask – To get things rolling
- Mirror – To confirm feelings
- Paraphrase – To acknowledge their story
- Prime – When you’re getting nowhere
If you disagree with the other person’s story, then use your ABCs:
- Agree – Start by agreeing with what you can
- Build – Restate the areas where you agree and add the things that were left out
- Compare – State your path and have the other person state theirs. Don’t tell the other person they are wrong. Instead work together to explore and explain the differences. Don’t turn differences into debates.
Four methods of decision making:
- Command – One person says how it will be
- Consult – Input is gathered from the group and then a subset determines the outcome
- Vote – The vote determines the outcome
- Consensus – Everyone has to agree before a decision can be reached
Putting decisions into action. Determine, record, and share the following:
- Who – Assign responsibilities
- Does what – Exactly what is the deliverable that the assigned person needs to get done?
- By when – Put a completion date to the action
- How will you follow-up – Determine what method and how often follow-up or status is to be communicated for the action
Tell me what you think about Crucial Conversations by posting a comment. I’d love to hear from you.
Until next time,
Kevin (Mister Self Help)
Learning Things School Never Taught Us On How To Live A Better Life ©
